I'll Always Be Here...

I never imagined that a baby would show any signs of insecurity. I mean seriously, what do they have to be insecure about?

As I watch Sydney grow, she is 10 months now, she is learning and trying so many new things. For instance, walking with assistance. Sydney can walk around the table, the love seat and the couch with no hesitation. I watch her as she decides that she wants to try something different, something new. Freestyle walking. That is what I call it anyway.

Freestyle walking - to walk with no assistance. She thinks about doing this often, although she doesn't have the confidence to do so. The lack of confidence surprises me. Who has told her she can't do this? Is doubting yourself something we are born with?

As she lets go of the couch to take that first step, I can see her mind racing. I can see her hesitation. Maybe she's just scared? Unsure? I know she can do it and I want her to know this too. How do you reassure this little person who shouldn't have a doubt in the world about what she is capable of?

Sydney, we will always be here for you. When you fall, and trust us, you are going to fall. Don't ever let it stop you from pushing forward and moving ahead. You have nothing to be afraid of so shoot for the moon. Or at least take that very first step all by yourself. You can do it!

Cruising???

Why was it so difficult for Kristin and I to realize that our newborn who seemingly just turned into an official infant is now in Cruiser's-size diapers???

For those who don't know what a Cruiser is, it's Pamper's brand of diaper for the infants who are no longer in the Swaddler's diaper. To me, the word swaddle makes me think of a sweet, innocent little newborn or even an infant. The word Cruiser makes me think of a baby who is on the go, toddling around. Not our sweet, little baby! She can't be that big already!!!

I'm not sure how we're going to handle Sydney's growth spurts in the future but I will tell you, our breakdown in the Wal-Mart baby section was not pretty.

Heaven on Earth

Have you ever stopped to think about what your heaven on earth might be? Before I became a mom I had delusions of that I thought my heaven on earth would be. Perhaps swimming with dolphins (for longer than the alotted hour you pay for in Jamaica or any other vaction spots), whale watching, shark diving...basically anything that has to do with animals would have been my heaven on earth.

Today, now that I have an amazing, wonderful daughter I know what my heaven on earth is. My heaven on earth is looking into Sydney's beautiful blue eyes and seeing her happiness in them when she smiles back at me. My heaven on earth is hearing her giggle and talk when we have our quality time during diaper changing. My heaven on earth is being an overprotective, neurotic mom and checking to make sure she is breathing, or that she isn't too hot or too cold umpteen million times in the middle of the night. My heaven on earth is looking into her eyes during feeding time and receiving her coy, heartwarming smile in return. My heaven on earth is bath time! Oh the fun she has when she is completely naked and sucking on her hands while kicking her feet. My heaven on earth is listening to silly songs Kristin makes up (for instance, her dirty diaper song sung to the tune of Mama Mia) and hearing Sydney giggle at her "queen silly" mommy. My heaven on earth is going into our bedroom to pick Sydney up after her nap and seeing her face light up after she realizes we are there to care for her, pick her up, get her out of the d@mn miracle blanket. My heaven on earth is knowing that all of Sydney's extended family, her Aunt House, Aunt Laura, Aunt Jen, Aunt Cami and all of the other aunts and uncles, love her unconditionally and without reserve.

I'm happy to say I have found my heaven on earth...and I thank God every day for opening my eyes to the wonderful world of motherhood.

To labor or not to labor, that is the question...

It's 2:00 in the afternoon and I had just walked into the kitchen to warm up some soup. As I headed to the microwave a sudden gush (Webster's definition: "to emit a sudden copious flow") of fluid in my nether-region. Now I had just gone to the restroom as Peanut has the tendancy to sit on my bladder so I know what it wasn't. I was having no contractions that I felt so what could that have been???

I called Kristin to bother her yet again while she was at work to let her know what I was experiencing. "Call the doctor" was her calm, cool response. Of cours, call the doctor!!! I called and they suggested I go to the hospital to ensure that my amniotic fluid wasn't leaking. Okay, makes sense. We're going to the hospital to rule out a leak or rupture.

CRAP! We haven't packed our bags yet... We should have listened to Michele, our doula and everyone else who may have mentioned something about packing a bag. Okay...what to pack, what to pack? Where is that dang list?

Suitcase is out, birth "plan" is printing...awww shoot my mom is here to pick up Abby. How can I play this off???? I'll just let her know I'm taking a study break. Why is Kristin on her way home...think Einhorn, think! She's working the rest of the day from home! Yeah, that's the ticket! Apparently I did a pretty good job since she hung out for a little bit then headed home.

Mom has left, Kristin is home, bags are still not packed...jeez how difficult can it be? Seriously!!!

Finally, we're on our way. I'm driving because I'm still able to so am I in labor? I don't have a freakin' clue! We arrive at the hospital, park, walk in and head to the second floor to get checked in. I get sent into the hottest room in L&D triage, put on the bare all hospital gown and the monitoring begins. Apparently I AM having contractions but I'm not really feeling them. The fluid isn't amniotic fluid and I'm free to leave. Sure, it sounds like I was in and out, but not really. We were at the hospital for a couple of hours at least.

Funny thing though, while we were in triage, Kristin and I were discussing how I had been inadvertently telling everyone I was due on the 12th. Plus we got pinged on Laura's Facebook about wondering where her niece or nephew was. Sandee also asked, so did Sara, Cami, Whitney, Melissa...the list is long. We laughed a lot once we shared with each other how many of our friends inquired about Peanut.

Home again, home agin...jigitty jig. I'm not in labor, I'm not leaking amniotic fluid, and my contractions aren't painful....yet.

Keep the good, positive thoughts coming.

Love, K (squared) & Peanut

Crop circles...or Helpful Hint #2

So yesterday evening I decided it was time to do some yard work per say. Now when I say yard work I mean on a personal level. I like to think I'm not the only person who keeps things cleaned up in the nether-regions so because I'm a giver, I'm going to share with you what NOT to do when you are pregnant.

Rule #1 - once you get to the point in pregnancy where you can't see over your belly, DO NOT attempt any clean up effort in that region of your body...even if you think you know what you are doing by feel.
Rule #2 - if you have a partner who is willing to assist, take them up on the offer. Don't be proud!
Rule #3 - Just don't do it...ever.

Here's my story...my trial by fire if you will. I'm apparently going through some nesting phase at this point in my pregnancy. Apparently this means nesting in all aspects of my life. My thought is I want to be fairly cleaned up during labor, no '70's bush for me!! I pulled out the clippers and even though I can no longer see down south, I had the big idea that I could pull a little Helen Keller (no offense) and trim by feel. So I proceeded to trim by feel and felt incredibly proud at my blind success so to speak. However, when I looked in the mirror and saw the real product of my attempt, I realized just how bad it was.

The exasperated "Ahhh h*ll!" brought Kristin running back to the bathroom. She found me looking at myself in the mirror, holding my belly up to bask in my glory, to enjoy my work of art. All of a sudden my love, my partner, my go to person was doubled over and laughing hysterically. "It looks like a crop circle!!!" I exclaimed as I busted out in laughter and wondered how to fix my failed attempt at trimming.

A friend offered an idea for the future on what she did when she was pregnant. Sure, it makes sense now to do it that way. I could have layed down in the tub and practiced some abs at the same time as I cleaned up the nether region but remember, if I hadn't attempted to trim my way then you wouldn't have a what NOT to do list.

I'm a giver!!!

Love, Kim & the Peanut!

Wow...

Wow...those are the only words that came to my mind on Saturday when we walked into the anniversary party/peanut shower. How could everything come together to make Saturday one of the most perfect days in the entire world?
What was probably the most amazing part of the entire evening was the turnout. Who knew that we had so many people who love and care for us and would take time out of their lives to celebrate with us?
We had family drive in from Oklahoma, friends fly in from the south and many more friends who live in the city stop by to celebrate with us and share in our excitement of our upcoming arrival. Friends and family planned via email, phone and whatever other means of communication they chose to help make this party a huge success. The food was amazing, the cakes were perfect and apparently the beer and wine was good too. I'm still in awe. Everyone was amazing for coming together to make it as wonderful as it ended up being.
My big plan to give a speech about my thankfulness to everyone for being a part of this journey was thwarted...mostly due to my hormones which caused me to cry as soon as I got the first three words out. Sure, I'm going to blame my hormones. All my friends know that I am not a sensitive person who has a bladder behind my eyes. I hide that very well.
In my head, this is what is I wanted to say, sort of. "Thank you everyone for taking time out of your busy schedules to come and celebrate today with us. There are some of you who have been a part of this journey since the beginning and others we were fortunate to befriend along the way. Regardless of the length of time that we have known you we want to thank you all for your love and support along the way. We look forward to sharing our new addition, Peanut, with you all and would love it if you were a part of his/her life. Thank you and we love you all very much."
So how difficult is that??? Geez...I'm such a sissy. ;o)

For everyone who has traveled along this path with us, we love you all more than words can express. Thank you for being a part of our lives.

Kim, Kristin and Peanut

Anger = Accomplishments

So I have to start off by saying I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE watching Peanut move. At first it was so freaky to see my belly move (yes, of course it reminded me of Aliens -all of them). I wonder what s/he is doing... We know in what position it is lying in my belly - head down, back running up my left-side. Peanut's had the hiccups a lot lately and that makes me laugh...and it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

I can't wait to meet him/her. October 14th is right around the corner!!!! Dr. Johnson is out of town the weekend of the 17th, so as far as I'm concerned, Peanut will NOT be arriving then. On time or a bit early is good for me! During the week too - that way we know Dr. J should be on call.

Apparently yesterday I woke up in a bad mood, although I didn't think so. Kristin and I had a disagreement before she left for work and it completely ruined my day. Miscommunication just s*ck!!! Regardless, I got a lot done around the house. Little things that have been looming really. I tried to put the new bookcase that I broke together with the new parts but they failed to send one part. I drug the 4-drawer file cabinet up the stairs. Yes, it was pretty difficult but trust me, I had enough pent up anger to get it up there a few time. After that I went out to start the yard and noticed that some tree branches needed trimming. Out came the saw and ladder and I cut lots of branches down and drug them to the back of the yard to the shrub pile/bunny rabbit house/deer feeding area. After that I cleaned up the yard and mowed it. By the time it was all said and done I was exhausted and had to take a nap!!! This weekend our to-do list will be shortened. We have to put up Peanut's blind in the room and put together the hutch. Also wash the windows and window covering on the main level.

Kristin and I are meeting at the gym in a few minutes. I'm looking forward to it because in this trimester Peanut is supposed to gain LOTS of weight. I would prefer it only be Peanut and not me as I have received numerous comments that I don't look like I'm due in October. I would prefer to stay that way so post-partum isn't as tough as it could be in regards to getting back into shape.

Have a great day!!!

Kim & Peanut